Fear Itself: Deadpool #1

Cover by Michael
Babinski

Fear Itself: Deadpool #1 (June 8, 2011)

Writer: Christopher Hastings

Penciller: Bong Dazo

Inker: Joe Pimentel

Colorist: Matt Milla

So this sucked.

I may as well be straight up about it. This comic sucked.

Look, I really want to like Deadpool. He seems like just the sort of character that I would love and damn it, I refuse to give up on him. After reading his first entry into the Fear Itself crossover series, however, the last and quickly diminishing rational part of my mind is screaming to give up on the Merc with a Mouth. I won’t, though. He has so much damn potential.

But seriously, after this one, I honestly believe I could write a much stronger Deadpool comic and I’ve only read two in my life. I knew things were going to be bad when the first page was one massive MC Hammer reference. Well done, Hastings, at least that joke isn’t 20 years too late. Seriously, for such a smart ass character, you would think Deadpool would have some newer material.

A part of me can’t even be bothered to go over the plot of this wafer-thin storyline. I’ll try but it hurts: basically Deadpool decides to start a business supervillain-proofing people’s houses and I’m sorry, but does being a mercenary not pay well? I thought the whole point of that job was that the stakes are high but the money is awesome. That’s what Hollywood told me, at least. Anyway, things go awry as they will, and Deadpool decides to find an ineffectual villain to demonstrate that his supervillain-proofing business is worthwhile to unsuspecting clients and of course, he picks the most annoying character I’ve ever encountered: the Walrus. This all seems like a lot of work for a guy who apparently would rather be watching TV all day. Seriously, what superheroes do that? No, Deadpool, NO.

Then there was something to do with hammers but to be honest, I think my eyes glazed over halfway through. I know I finished it because I remember the cliffhanger that was not remotely interesting and I also remember cringing when I saw Deadpool out of his costume. I naively had assumed that he was one of those guys you never see, but boom, here he was in all his gross, horribly scarred glory. It was not pretty.

It also didn’t help that the art of this comic heavily reminded me of either an Archie comic or something out of Disney Adventures magazine. Even the coloring looked like it was done by just clicking the “fill” tool on Paint and nothing else. The painfulness of the art really hindered any ability I had to tolerate this comic.

And yet, I won’t abandon this character. There’s something there that I want to love and damn it, I will find it! Someone point me in the right direction for enjoyable Deadpool comics! Quickly! Because by the end, I was seriously face-palming: